Divorce mediation is one of the most used methods of negotiating a settlement between separating couples. In mediation, divorcing couples hire a third-party mediator who is neutral to their issues. You and your spouse meet with the divorce mediator to discuss and resolve the topics in your marital separation. It is optional to have lawyers for both parties present during the meeting.
Divorce mediation
The mediator isn’t like a judge who hands down orders, and s/he doesn’t make decisions for you. A mediator serves as a facilitator to help you and your spouse negotiate an amicable settlement that is best for both parties. Any couple going through a divorce should consider mediation. It can work for almost all cases and has a lot of benefits.
Benefits of Divorce Mediation
- Both parties control the process, not the courts.
- Mediation costs are significantly less than a court trial with multiple hearings.
- The courts and legal system can be cold and impersonal. Mediation allows all parties to arrive at a fair resolution based on the situation.
- All documents filed in a court action, including divorce records, are accessible to the public. The mediation process is confidential, and what goes on during the sessions will always remain private.
- Mediation can help improve communication between separating spouses, avoiding future conflict.
- Divorce mediations usually end in the settlement of all issues that both parties agree with.
- Clients can still get advice from their attorneys during mediation.
Stages of Mediation
Most divorce mediations go through these five primary stages. Some stages may repeat itself at various points during the mediation process. Please note that you may experience something slightly different.
Stage 1: The Introduction
The mediator works with the couple in laying the foundation for the mediation process. The spouses provide the mediator with background information about the situation for context. The facilitator will then explain to both parties how he or she will conduct the mediation. The mediator will then suggest an approach that has the best chance of reaching an agreement.
Stage 2: Information Gathering
The mediation will only be successful if all parties (including the mediator) know all the facts of the case. The mediator discusses the general legal rules applicable to your case during this stage. These may include state laws that dictate how a judge divides your debts and assets, child custody, child support, and alimony. The mediator will also ask both parties to bring financial documents such as tax returns and bank statements.
Stage 3: Framing
The mediator helps each spouse identify their reasons for wanting specific outcomes in the settlement. These reasons are individual goals, concerns, priorities, and values. Mediators refer to these reasons as “needs and interests.” In most cases, you and your spouse will have overlapping interests. Framing sessions could either be separate or joint sessions, depending on the situation and the mediator.
Stage 4: Negotiation
After the mediator helps both parties frame their issues and interests, it’s time to negotiate a settlement. The first step in a negotiation is to explore the possible options, and mediators help spouses evaluate and discuss the best one. Concessions and compromises from both sides are essential to get to the final agreement.
Stage 5: Conclusion
The final step involves a tentative settlement transcribed into a written document. Both spouses and their advisers get a copy of the written agreement for further review. If the issues are simple, the mediator may draft a memorandum that outlines your settlement. The memo allows both spouses to sign the document before leaving the session. The report can be a basis for filing a formal settlement agreement with the court as part of an uncontested divorce case. In many cases, the mediator asks the parties not to sign the memorandum of understanding until after the parties respective lawyers have reviewed the agreement.
Author:
Emily Andrews is the marketing communications specialist at RecordsFinder, an online public records search company. Communications specialist by day and community volunteer at night, she believes in compassion and defending the defenseless.